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underthenerdhood:

a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

youaremynirvana:

hoelita:

female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

same

chaseross:

twoandtwentyonebee:

drarna:

asking for straight pride is like asking for able bodied parking spaces

thats a really good comparison because there are about seventy able bodied parking spaces to one disabled and able bodied people still insist on using the ones that arent theirs

this is seriously a great post 

sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

u deserve a nice boy who texts u back and buys u tacos and doesn’t kiss other girls behind ur back and who makes u laugh and thinks ur funny

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

coelasquid:

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

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